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Mussar Guide To Hard Conversations & Nonviolent Communication

"A Mussar Guide to Hard Conversations" is taken from the Rambam's Code of Jewish Law (Mishneh Torah) and Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and is taught in Lessons 24-27 of the Mussar Center's Biblical Mussar course here . What's a hard conversation? Expressing disagreement, exercising your no, saying stop. Constructive criticism or correction. Navigating and hopefully resolving conflict. Confrontation or even intervention. Reproof and rebuke. Just talking through stuff. There's one Hebrew word for all this: TOCHACHA. Tochacha is spelled תּוֹכֵחָה and pronounced TOE-chuh-chuh. If you're talking on this level we call it 'being mochiach', pronounced moe-CHEE-ach. We'll use these Hebrew terms frequently throughout this guide but if you have a hard time with the Hebrew pronunciation feel free to use your favourite English equivalent instead. Five Preliminary Questions 1. How have I done this, or how am I doing this? Have I reproved myself? Leviticus 19:17 doubles up the verb 'to reprove' so that literally הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ reads 'reproving you shall reprove'. This is a common convention in Hebrew used for emphasis but on a deeper level it could also suggest that if yo

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